Yes, my readers. There is, indeed, a monster in your head. I know that some of you may be somewhat disgruntled by this statement. I understand that it isn't an easy thing to confront, the little monster in your head. It tells you things. Bad things that may or may not be true! Who knows?! They "could" be true! The little monster suggested them! What if they're true?!! What if the little monster knows things that you don't? What if the little monster has been right ALL ALONG?!! There is nothing that you can do. The little monster wants nothing more than to (quote) DEFEAT YOU!!!(end quote) HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! (Maybe that should be in quotes, too.) Serious Bastard wishes that he could help you in your battle with the Little Monster (yes, he gets to be capitalized now.) Little Monster is your little bonus (that does not get to be capitalized). For every insight. For every smart concept that you pick up on. Little Monster grows stronger. Every time you think. Every time you allow your mind to roam free. Little Monster gets bigger. "Look at Little Monster! He's so large, now!! What a healthy Little Monster, he is!" Damn you, Little Monster! I hate you sooo much. I will become zombie. I will end the Little Monster! Oh, how I hate you! Little Monster.

God Punishes Florida for
Election 2000 Fuck-Up!

...refers to storm as "just a warning" and states intention to possibly send it up to New York City to smite site of future Republican National Convention. In reference to the popular bathroom grafitti "Vote with a Bullet", God stated that he was quote Voting with the Worst Storm in Forty Years. Says God, "Pray to me that you do not fuck up this election."

On a side note, would who ever keeps sending me supposedly "EXCLUSIVE!!!" photos of Al-Gin Bin Bahar and John Kerry at Vietnam War protests quit sending them. Al-Gin is three years old and Vietnam was more than ten years ago. We take facts only here at Serious Bastard.

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EXCLUSIVE! AL-GIN BIN BAHAR PHOTOGRAPHS! NEVER SEEN! COVER-UP!!!

Serious Bastard has received unseen photographs of Al-Gin Bin Bahar. His owners have been hiding the fact that he converted to Islam a little over a year ago!



As you can see by the photo, Al-Gin grew a traditional Muslim beard and began covering his head. He is said to have been disillusioned by Western Style animal competitions. FLASH!

DEVELOPING...

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FLASH!! TERRORIST CAT BREAKS INTO COCKPIT! ATTACKS PILOT!!

Al Qaeda is now training terrorist cats! Serious Bastard has learned of a vicious suicide attack on a flight from Belgium that forced the IMMEDIATE grounding of the airliner. Inside sources tell me that the prized cat's real name is no longer Gin. It's Al-Gin Bin Bahar!!

DEVELOPING...

XXXX MUST CREDIT SERIOUS BASTARD XXXX

Serious Bastard Guarantee

Two weeks, assholes! And guess what? You're going to have to wait longer!! I intend to wait so long to post on this site that absolutely no one will ever read it again. You WILL NEVER READ THIS SITE AGAIN! THAT IS THE SERIOUS BASTARD GUARANTEE!!