The Bastard is headed to New Mexico to meet his spirit animal. I will return in a week with news of power crystals and the like.

[CENSORED] There have been technical difficulties in Bloglandia. Sorry for the trouble.

Alright, who didn't watch the Al Grrrroaaar speech? Well, watch it. Get RealPlayer and watch it.

Now, I don't usually listen intently to barking dogs and squealing babies, but Rush Limbaugh did do a bit about it.. and in a moment of weakness, I skimmed it. Now, I already knew that Rush was a somewhat portly individual of sub-average intelligence, but I didn't really imagine that he would make fun of Al Gore for mispronouncing Abu Ghraib when he, in fact, pronounced it correctly. See:

"...my comments about Abu 'Grab,' as Gore called it. Didn't he say Abu 'Grab'? What's on his mind? He calls it Abu Grab Prison. At any rate, find out in Gore lingo what 'Abu' means and we could really be onto something."

Though, Gore pronounced it "ghreb" (which is correct.. but nevermind, make sure not to let him in on how George Bush pronounces it.) I feel like this is wrong for me to even bother with this little piglet.. sort of like you'd feel ashamed to berate 8 year olds for believing in Santa Claus.

Just to help everyone out, I'm going to clarify some purportedly "confusing" recent news events. If you're like The Wall Street Journal or The New York Times (I really am unsure what I'd do without personification), "the strange hostility toward an American ally [Ahmed Chalabi] in Iraq" is confounding, conflating and confusing. Though, to be fair, The New York Times is confused in the sense that they're glad "...to see that Washington is distancing itself..." from Chalabi but are sad to see him find "a way to portray himself as a martyred Iraqi patriot." They don't understand that it's really just confabulating. Step one, distance self from Chalabi, allowing him to avoid unseemly ties to Great Satan. Step two, turn over power to the Iraqi National Congress [INC](whome the U.S. has publicly refused to fund as of late. "Oh my, they are enemies of the Satan, too!") at the end of June, the INC demands!! that the U.S. leave Iraq (Powell has stated we would leave if asked) and off we go. The hard part, for me, is figuring step three. Why did the U.S. conduct this war in the first place? I presume that the "WMD thing" (hahaha, I love how significant historical events can be reduced to mere kerfuffles) was more a rationalization than anything. There's something we want from Iraq. Maybe it's just Democracy or a lifetime supply of midnight-black showers of Iraqi crude. I don't know how the U.S. makes what it wants happen if it pulls troops out. Maybe Chalabi's newfound badboy image will help him get elected, and then he will secretly give us whatever it is that we are expecting from our investment in Iraq.

Now, I'm not saying any of this will happen. That's just the plan. You know all about 'plans' and 'assuming' and 'such'. You can rearrange the letters of the words to say, "I slam such snug pans" and that's absolute nonsense. Absolute nonsense very rarely leads to much good.

new links up top. click. click.

Oh God AM I SORRY! I am so sorry that my writing has not been appropriately frequent. The sorrow, pain and guilt that I feel is so intense as to have physically manifested as a gaping wound in my bowels, bleeding me slowly to death, day by day. But, what do I do? Turn my bed into a pine box and suffocate in my own blood, or do I take this self-loathing flesh wound and TURN IT INTO MATERIAL!! HAHAHA! Me: 1 God: 000 I wake up in the still of night shouting, "Resolve!"

I'll also take this time to point out some necessary directions for our society. We need more wordsmithing from the top (Federal Government, not big businesses). Up until now, they've been doing fairly uninteresting, perpetual lying. We need more new words (No, the President inventing new ones on accident does not count). Since, Rove and Hughes seem incapable of the task, they need to hire the people who name pharmaceuticals. Quite frankly, the names themselves nearly transport one into a state of bliss. The other day, while glooming around, a bolt of happy-lightning crackowed from the page right into my brain: Abilify! I was "abilified". I practically peed my pants with happiness and ability, but since that's not literally possible (Urine is neither like the abstract concept of "happiness" nor similiar to the similarly ephemeral, "ability"), I didn't. Though, this newfound abilify lasted all of three seconds. Since my brain was not nuked into idiocy by real dope, I quickly associated the word to "vilify" and descended, yet again, into the gloom. If only I would drink the Abilify, I would not notice it's nearness to "vilify". If you batter your brain in the happy sauce, it takes the glass and chops it in half so there's no point in arguing about its fullness, just excise the potentially empty part. Anyhow, more new words, thanks.

Since I don't type much anymore, I'll just post pictures: