I'm not going to waste much time on this since only blind chimps and variegated forms of plant life failed to notice this during the California Democratic debate. Either Mr. Kerry and Mr. Edwards are engaged in some sort of risque sexual relationship, or they are fairly interested in joining together for the Presidential race. The steam was so thick from all the heavy petting, I could barely see the candidates. Forget about whether you should take your little babies to see "The Passion", make absolutely sure to put them to bed before the next Triple-XXX Democratic debate! Where the hell is Colin Powell's son when you need him? Holed up in a bunker with Jerry Falwell watching a perpetual loop of Janet Jackson's sproinging breast? "We must put a stop to this scandalality!! This is scandalacious!!"

Also, where exactly do these debate moderators come from? There seems to be this idea that pointing your finger and barking a question indicates intelligence. Larry King can't even pay attention to half of the responses. "Gay marriage is HUGE!!! Karl Rove said it is HUUUUGEE!!" Eat shit, Larry. Go interview George Bush's dog.